I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize