Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The struggles of a small town man whore
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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