i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Can I color on your dick again?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
