just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
