That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
