his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
