I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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