Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
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