I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
