Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
