guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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