Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
