No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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