After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just pee around me
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
