I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
