The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
