My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
