I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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