Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
