just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Drake has all the answers
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
