so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
