This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
