That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
