i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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