You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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