im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
