Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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