I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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