nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
