i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
