my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
