is your mom at the bar?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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