If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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