I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
