My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
