so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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