I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
