is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
