Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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