brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
