he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
