my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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