filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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