hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just found a bag of teeth...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
