It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
