I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
