I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
