Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
