If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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