Christians are straight up FREAKS
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
