Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
