i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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