I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
