Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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