Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
