he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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