There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
