I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
