WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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