Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
