You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
