Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
