mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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