some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just want nice things and good sex
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
