2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
