and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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