Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
