i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
