you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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