So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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