just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dicks are not precious.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
