right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
